Electric Nose
Words and Music by Bill Pere

When you wake up in the morning with your hair all messed and scruffy
And your teeth are full of grunge and your nose is feeling stuffy
You stumble to the bathroom with the sniffles and you wish you
Could stop that nasal drip so you grab another tissue
You can get electric toothbrush and a hair dryer that blows
But one thing you can't get is a good electric nose!

Electric Nose... fill the world with ooo's and aah's
Electric Nose...you'll be the great Wizard of Schnoz
Electric Nose...it's certainly intense
Electric Nose...gives you uncommonly good scents...

I knew it would be me who'd be the first one to invent it
I know I'll win a medal and a party to present it
When I told my friend he laughed, till the hay fever attacked
He wished this olfactory fantasy really was all fact!
For he was overjoyed when I presented him with one
Then he plugged it in and his nose started to run!

Electric Nose...Put in on and wear it proud
Electric Nose...Don't blow it too loud...
Electric Nose...Was a great thing to invent
Electric Nose...It must be Heaven scent...

If you ever had one, you'd get lots of flattery
As long as you take care to charge your battery
You've got to keep it clean, so wash with antiseptic
But always keep in mind with a nose that is electric
Don't ever clog it up with any salts or any sugars,
And if you get it wet, you'll get sparks instead of boogers!

Copyright Bill Pere, All Rights Reserved